百年党史的四个阶段集合5篇

阶段是中国词语，读音是jiēduàn，表示事物发展过程中的区间段落， 以下是为大家整理的关于百年党史的四个阶段5篇 , 供大家参考选择。

百年党史的四个阶段5篇

【篇一】百年党史的四个阶段

合伙创业四个阶段像婚姻

婚姻和商业合伙之间的相似是显而易见的，这在合伙过程中的每一步都能体现出来。如果在对你的伴侣没有足够的了解或未能解决冲突时就匆忙进入一场婚姻，这类致命的错误也表明了商业合伙如何会失败。另一方面，令人满意的、幸福的婚姻对于建立成功的商业合伙也是鼓舞人心的启示，如何获得婚姻成功的专家指南也是关于如何在一次商业合伙中发展的最好指导。

在听到可怕和合伙故事或者亲自参与了一次失败的合作之后，许多人对商业合伙抱着一种冷嘲热讽的观念。就像虽然离婚率在美国超过了50%，但大多数人仍然选择结婚，对于商业合伙虽然有各种担忧，每年仍然有几百万人冒险进入这种商业模式，对于许多小企业主来说，这依旧是实现他们商业目标惟一的或者最好的办法。

在美国职业演说家和资深媒体作者阿兹里娜.杰夫看来，商业合伙是视为一种亲密的关系，它也许像许多婚姻一样的复杂，有收获和挑战。如果不像对待你的婚姻那样对待你的商业合伙，你就很有可能陷于那些证明合伙是如何“不可能”成功地发展企业的案例之中。因此，阿兹里娜.杰夫在《成功合伙的8个秘密》一书中将每一场婚姻和商业合伙都会经历的4个发展阶段作了对比，结果发现这4个阶段是如何地相似，事实上，建立一场稳定婚姻的经验同样可以用于创造一次稳固的商业合伙。

阶段一：我们恋爱了！

也许你们在互相寻找，也许你们碰巧认识，瞬间的吸引触发了一起合伙的念头。浪漫的想像是你们互动的主题，随着你沉醉于你们所能够一起创造这一梦想，你就被匆忙进入合伙的欲望征服了，坠入爱河的状态使你在决定冒险尝试前排除了任何慢下来和更好理解对方的理性控制力。

商业合伙“浪漫”阶段的保护性措施

1.强迫你自己慢下来，在进行法律上的合伙联姻前先“处一处”，和你的合伙人多相处一些时间来充分而公平地了解他(她)，并且向自己保证这家伙是你理想的商业合伙人。

2.假如你不打算做以上的任何一点，你至少要准备一份合伙协议，以便在这家伙最终不像你想像的那样时保护自己。

3.注意“总是”和“决不会”这类谈话，对于完美的想象是危险的。记住你的合伙人是一个难免会犯错误的人，避免创造出不可能使你的合伙人兑现的想象。

4.把你生活中的其他人介绍给你潜在的商业合伙人。不要仅仅依赖自己的判断，狂热地认为这个合伙人就是“理想的那位”的想法。

阶段二：我们要结婚了！

你们一起面对朋友、家庭，你会拒绝像“婚前协议”这样暗含对对方缺乏信任的法律文件。在这一阶段中，你巨大的兴奋中夹杂着担心带来的痛苦，你知道出承诺是一件很严肃的事情，这可能会永远地改变你的生活。

商业合伙“结婚阶段”的保护性措施

1.为了加强你的新的企业的重要性，你也许要考虑举行一个晚会并向公众通报你们坚定的承诺。如果你和你的合伙人在地理上是分开的或你们的客户遍布全国，那么就发出书面通报并且把你的新关系公开在你的主页或其他与你有链接的网络社区上。

2.你和你的未婚夫/妻不能只是自己结婚。你们需要见证人，至少是需要一位专业人士来举行仪式。同样，你会想要请一些能够帮助你启动、保持和追踪公司增长以及实现你的目标的外来顾问。

3.数数你的赐福。你快要陷于也许会不再欣赏你的商业合伙人的一切品质的阶段，就像当你“坠入爱河”时欣赏他(她)所有的品质那样。提醒你自己无论是在商场上还是在婚姻中，认识并且与一位趣味相投的人作伴是多么的少见。

阶段三：你为什么不能以我的方式做事？

蜜月阶段从来不会持续到永远无论在婚姻中还是在商业合伙中。权力斗争和从着迷状态中清醒过来是所有亲密关系经过的痛苦但必需的过程。一旦你已经开始觉得对于关系不再抱有幻想，婚姻和商业合伙之间的类比就尤其值得注意了。

权利斗争阶段的保护性措施

1.提醒你自己，“这也会过去。”每种合伙都会经过可预料的几个阶段，因此假如你发现自己处于一个困难的阶段，要知道它不会永远持续。

2.如果需要，请一位关系/企业教练或专业协调员来帮助你脱离困境，不要等到你处于结束你们关系的边缘时才这样。

3.将焦点投射到自己身上，评价你能够为改善你们的关系做些什么，而不是着急如何改变你的合伙人。像重复你的结婚誓言一样，再看一遍那些加强你对合伙和共同的观念承诺的练习。你也许需要从冲突中后退，提醒自己你最初的梦想。

阶段四：一种成熟的关系或离婚

在合伙中发展的企业家争取通过动荡的阶段来巩固一种更有力的关系。每一次事故都会使你更加娴熟地以一种令人满意的方式克服冲突。

转换到一种成熟而有效的关系需要花时间，许多合伙人在到达这一点前就散伙了。有些合伙从一开始就是错误，最好的弥补办法是尽早退出，从你的错误中吸取教训，继续前进。但是，就像婚姻一样，那些愿意解决冲突艰难工作的合伙人将得到有回报合伙关系的好处，而不愿意这样做的人就失去了繁荣和商业成功的一次重要机会。

【篇二】百年党史的四个阶段

认知的四个阶段：一、不知道自己不知道什么（无知且自满） 二、知道自己不知道（看到了自己的弱点和差距，有了努力的方向） 三、知道自己知道什么（某领域专家，专业人士，可以有效利用自己的能力） 四、不知道自己知道什么（海纳百川，虚怀若谷，淡定自若，胸怀天地，不耻下问，已臻化境）

人生四大境界：不知道自己不知道 知道自己不知道 不知道自己知道 知道自己知道

　　四只毛毛虫的故事------毛毛虫都喜欢吃苹果，有四只要好的毛毛虫，都长大了，各自去森林里找苹果吃。

　　(1)第一只毛毛虫 ：不知道自己不知道
　　第一只毛毛虫跋山涉水，终于来到一株苹果树下。它根本就不知道这是一棵苹果树，也不知树上长满了红红的可口的苹果?当它看到其他的毛毛虫往上爬时，稀里糊涂地就跟着往上爬。没有目的，不知终点，更不知自己到底想要哪一种苹果，也没想过怎么样去摘取苹果。它的最后结局呢？也许找到了一颗大苹果，幸福地生活着；也可能在树叶中迷了路，过着悲惨的生活。不过可以确定的是，大部分的虫都是这样活着的，没想过什么是生命的意义，为什么而活着。

　　(2)　　第二只毛毛虫：知道自己不知道
　　第二只毛毛虫也爬到了苹果树下。它知道这是一棵苹果树，也确定它的“虫”生目标就是找到一棵大苹果。问题是它并不知道大苹果会长在什么地方？但它猜想：大苹果应该长在大枝叶上吧！于是它就慢慢地往上爬，遇到分支的时候，就选择较粗的树枝继续爬。于是它就按这个标准一直往上爬，最后终于找到了一颗大苹果，这只毛毛虫刚想高兴地扑上去大吃一顿，但是放眼一看，它发现这颗大苹果是全树上最小的一个，上面还有许多更大的苹果。更令它泄气的是，要是它上一次选择另外一个分枝，它就能得到一个大得多的苹果。
　　

(3)　　第三只毛毛虫 ：不知道自己知道
　　第三只毛毛虫也到了一株苹果树下。这只毛毛虫知道自己想要的就是大苹果，并且研制了一副望远镜。还没有开始爬时就先利用望远镜搜寻了一番，找到了一棵很大的苹果。同时，它发现当从下往上找路时，会遇到很多分支，有各种不同的爬法；但若从上往下找路时，却只有一种爬法。它很细心的从苹果的位置，由上往下反推至目前所处的位置，记下这条确定的路径。于是，它开始往上爬了，当遇到分支时，它一点也不慌张，因为它知道该往那条路走，而不必跟着一大堆虫去挤破头。比如说，如果它的目标是一颗名叫“教授”的苹果，那应该爬“深造”这条路；如果目标是“老板”，那应该爬“创业”这分支。最后，这只毛毛虫应该会有一个很好的结局，因为它已经有自己的计划。但是真实的情况往往是，因为毛毛虫的爬行相当缓慢，当它抵达时，苹果不是被别的虫捷足先登，就是苹果已熟透而烂掉了。
　

　(4)第四只毛毛虫 ：知道自己知道
　　第四只毛毛虫可不是一只普通的虫，做事有自己的规划。它知道自己要什么苹果，也知道苹果将怎么长大。因此当它带着望远镜观察苹果时，它的目标并不是一颗大苹果，而是一朵含苞待放的苹果花。它计算着自己的行程，估计当它到达的时候，这朵花正好长成一个成熟的大苹果，它就能得到自己满意的苹果。结果它如愿以偿，得到了一个又大又甜的苹果，从此过着幸福快乐的日子。

【篇三】百年党史的四个阶段

打造百年企业的四个因素

大志有恒，眼光要放得远一些；明道取势，把握时代脉搏；修身聚能，做好企业公民；制度保障，打造有主人的企业。创百年企业，这四个方面缺一不可。

文│王均金 均瑶集团董事长

今天我们为什么要探讨中国企业的百年之路？这是因为中国的民营企业已站在面临代际传承的关键时刻，在为什么打造、怎么打造百年企业方面，希望在社会上能形成部分共识。

100年，在历史的长河中可谓弹指一挥间，但对于致力于打造百年的企业，则需要几代人不懈的努力。大家知道，我国民营经济发展最快的阶段应该是改革开放以来，我们集团也经历了20年的发展，得益于生得逢时，得益于改革开放的政策，得益于我们穷则思变的团队努力，得益于社会各界人士的呵护。我们不仅根本上改善了物质生活，而且开始追求新的健康的生活方式。按照马斯洛的需求理论，我们已经进入了实现自身价值的需求阶段。

我在2005年提出建设“百年老店”的目标，提出我们的企业使命：为了人们生活得更加健康和舒心，我们致力于创造超出人们想象的价值，成为卓越的国际化的现代服务业百年老店。就是想给自己定一个长期的追求目标，鞭策自己不断往前走，做到安全、稳健、可持续发展，在建设百年老店的过程中实现自己的人生价值。

在经济全球化的今天，我给“百年老店”定位为国际化的、品牌的现代服务业企业集团，力求抓住难得的战略机遇期，发挥民营企业的优势，在公司治理、人才集聚等方面有较大的作为，广泛吸收国内外企业的成功经历，结合实践和思考，创百年企业的目标是可以期待的。

我对于“百年企业”的思考主要有这几个方面：

一是大志有恒。我们都听说过鲲鹏之志这个成语，指大鹏的翅膀从海面击水而起，海水震荡三千里，它在空中乘强风而起，直上九万里的青天，一旦升空飞行，就一直飞个不停，要六个月后才会停下来休息。这个典故告诉我们，人一定要志向远大，加上持之以恒的努力，才能施展鲲鹏之志。

当然，百年企业的建设，需要几代人的不懈努力，所以我们还要理解“愚公移山”的积极意义，汲取“铁棒磨成针”的精神。这些经典故事我概括为一句话，叫做“大志有恒”，这是我追求的目标。人一定要胸怀大志，没有大志就没有想法，没有想法就没有动力。做企业，不要受眼前利益所诱惑，不要被急功近利所蒙蔽，也不要想一夜之间规模膨胀，更不能挂在嘴上只说不做。这样，我们才能在下一个20年，乃至更长的时间里，少走弯路，稳健发展。

二是明道取势。中国民营企业的整体趋势是快速发展，每一拨发展的高峰都与党和国家的重大政策出台息息相关，每一次前进都是把握发展机遇的成果，对世界大势、经济风向的把握决定了企业的发展速度甚至生死。

大家知道，改革开放最重要的成果就是民营经济异军突起，已经从中国国民经济的“有益补充”提升至“重要组成部分”，成为社会就业的主渠道和自主创新的重要力量。民营经济的发展，从大政策上讲，得益于我们党的理论创新，得益于中国特色社会主义。离开了党的理论创新，民营经济就不可能发展，即使发展也是短暂的；不搞中国特色社会主义，就不能市场化资源配置，也就没有今天民营经济所取得的巨大成就。今后民营经济的转型和可持续发展，仍然离不开这两个基本点。

当然，还需要企业家顺势而动，及时抓住机遇，敢于应对挑战，以企业的行为方式呼应国家的政策和号召，充当中国经济发展的马前卒，充当中国民营企业发展的先行者。在此，要特别感谢这个时代，是党的政策给了民企创新突破的机会，是社会的和谐给民企营造了企业发展的环境。

三是修身聚能。小时候父亲对我说过的一句话至今让我记忆犹新，他说无论做什么事，都要对得起“胸前巴掌大的一块”。这是一位渔民的朴素表达，却对我影响很大。后来我又受到党的教育，懂得企业应当承担的社会责任，在企业稳步发展的同时，始终遵循“义利兼顾，以义为先”的原则，践行责任、回馈社会。

我对企业文化的建设提出了更高的要求，契约原则和伦理关怀的统一、企业发展与个人发展的统一、企业效益与社会进步的统一已经成为企业文化建设的精华。因为好的企业文化是带不走、拆不开、偷不去、买不来的。当然，我要汲取在座各位的好经验好做法，丰富自己，加强修身才能聚合更大的能量，做得更好一些。努力达成顾客满意、员工满意、股东满意、社会满意，共同履行“服务创造美好生活”。

四是建有主人的企业。我想从家族的角度来谈谈怎么建百年老店。均瑶集团致力于把企业做成百年企业，把“做久”放在第一位，把“做强”放在第二位，把“做大”放在第三位。基于这种战略设立可持续发展的方式。相关资料显示，全球范围内家族企业的平均寿命只有24年，这一段时间的长度正好与家族式企业第一代创业者相一致，其中只有大约30%的家族企业可以传到第二代，能够传至第三代的家族企业数量不足总量的13%，只有5%的家族企业在三代以后还能够继续为股东创造价值。

在国外以及港澳等地，选择子女接班，并能保持基业常青的家族式企业也不少，我觉得他们的这些家规文化还是值得探讨和学习的，我们今天在这里谈创百年企业也是想多取取经，多吸吸精华，也为自己怎么做百年企业，有多少困惑和障碍，为均瑶集团的未来做一些铺垫。

均瑶集团创业至今二十年，离百年企业还有很大差距。我希望我与我的团队未来能够为中国百年企业的发展提供一个可以借鉴的案例，无论是成功的经验还是失败的教训，我们甘做中国百年企业的探索者。我们现在正在酝酿建立一个家族委员会，探讨、制定一套行之有效的管理制度，用制度来打造百年企业。一个没有主人的企业是很难长久经营下去的，比如曾经世界500强的安然集团的轰然倒塌就给了我们很深刻的启示。

总之，民营企业如何做久、做强、做优，做到可持续发展，创百年企业，我认为上述四个因素缺一不可。这就是大志有恒，眼光要放得远一些；明道取势，把握时代脉搏；修身聚能，做好企业公民；制度保障，打造有主人的企业，四方面缺一不可。

我深深地认识到，二十年很短，百年企业的目标实现起来任重而道远，我希望我和我的团队能够成为一个学习型的组织，一个有追求的组织，一个健康、活跃的组织，敢于创新的组织，敢于为中国百年企业的发展提供一个可以借鉴的案例。我们甘做中国百年企业的探索者。

（本文根据作者在“百年企业之路高峰论坛”上的演讲整理）

共享价值将成为企业理性成长的基准点

基于可持续发展目标的CSR会随着企业对可持续发展的深入理解，逐步走向以企业核心价值和社会实际需求的结合点上来。

文│吕建中 CSR思想实验室创始人

近年来CSR（Corporate Social Responsibility企业社会责任）作为一个较新的概念正广泛地被中国全社会接受，很多企业在CSR实践中取得了长足的进步。然而，由于缺乏对CSR从战略上的深刻理解和正确把握，CSR在实践中也存在着大量的问题，主要表现在三个方面：

首先，一些企业认为其经营上已经面临着成本和资源的巨大压力，因此，没有精力也没有必要开展CSR的实践；其次，有些企业认为CSR很有必要，但其实践上却仍然停留在公益活动层面，并认为围绕着实施CSR而开展的公益活动，主要是为企业带来正面声誉和积极品牌效应；再次，对CSR的内涵以及发展趋势认识不足，无法将企业的核心价值、经营战略与可持续发展有机地结合起来，尚未让CSR成为企业战略的重要组成部分。

战略管理学家、哈佛大学经济学教授迈克尔·波特在分析企业实践CSR中存在的问题时指出：传统的企业社会责任思维割裂了企业利润与满足社会需求之间的关系。企业的经济价值与社会价值创造活动应当是互相推动、良性循环的，由此而创造共享价值。企业竞争力与社会、经济和环境诸方面息息相关。

商业活动需要一个合法合规的经营环境、一个健康稳定的社会环境、并且维系一个能够支持可持续发展的自然环境。企业要取得成功，必须创造一个积极和独特的价值主张。这种价值主张必须是建立在商业和社会重新整合到一起的基础上的。通过更好地结合企业成功与社会进步，可以满足新的需求，获取新的效率，创造新的差异，开拓新的市场。

因此，共享价值不是公司的“次要”活动，而是“核心”活动，并通过这一活动引领商业创新、社会进步。共享价值使企业聚焦于创造正确的利润，这个利润能够带来社会利益，而不是消弱社会利益。在共享价值的基础上，企业和商业活动从根本上把可持续发展定为新的起点。也给正确理解和实践CSR提供了理论的依据，促使CSR的实践活动走上正轨并逐渐向可持续发展的方向过渡。

执行原则

在现代企业经营活动中，企业不可避免地有着经济组织和社会组织的双重身份，企业的经营呈现出双重性，即经济性和社会性。企业拥有大量资源（人力、财力、物力），企业家拥有创新的天性和能力，因此企业是创造社会财富和推动社会创新的主体。

企业与社会需求的结合点应当是建立在有目标的、含有专业技能的以及负责任的基准上。这个基准是实现社会财富创造、社会发展创新的可操作的基点。只有建立在这样基点上的CSR实践才能可持续地创造价值，并为企业和社会的可持续发展提供源源不断的高效的动力。

在操作层面上，要找到这样的结合点，企业应当遵循以下原则，即：核心价值—专注领域—关键优势—长期合作—互惠互利。

核心价值：企业的核心价值定义。不同的企业由于其所在的业务领域、所处的行业、所居的产业链端位、其成长和发展的阶段、经营活动的特征以及文化等方面的差异性，对各自的核心价值的定义和定位是不同的。企业必须从根本上深刻而精准地发现并定义其核心价值，才有可能有效地组织经营，创造价值，可持续地发展。价值定义的差异性，决定其实施CSR以及公益活动的领域的相关性。

专注领域：企业不是慈善机构。一个企业不可能也不应该随意地将其资源用在未经系统而科学审定的CSR活动和公益项目中，因为这样做本身就是一种不负责任的行为。除天灾人祸等人道主义救助之外，企业应当通过科学的持续的工作程序，在商业逻辑基础上研究、选择、确立那些与企业核心价值相关度大的领域，即专注领域。这样的专注领域与企业的发展相关联，才能在企业发展战略中得到充分的考量，成为企业战略的重要组成部分。专注领域的确立必须依靠一系列科学的依据，包括：公司总体战略、企业价值观（企业宪章）、利益相关方分析评估、企业财务和非财务业绩评估等等。同时，建立起完整的CSR和公益活动评估标准，也有利于准确和透明地选择那些相关度高的项目。

关键优势：包括系统、人、能力。企业在自身创建和发展过程中，逐渐建立起了有特点的专业化的系统、人力资源和能力体系，充分利用已经具备的这些优势可以把CSR做得有效和持久。KPMG是全球领先的咨询服务公司，公司的资产和优势在于它的员工和员工掌握的知识和智慧。KPMG的CSR战略因此建立在以人为中心的为人（员工以及社区、政府等外部利益相关方）创造发展机会进而提升能力的平台上。在这样一个平台上，让知识通过人与人的积极互动创造出巨大的力量和价值。

长期合作互惠互利：企业把CSR作为其长期和始终如一的可持续发展战略的一部分，使其成为企业内部驱动力，推动企业更高效、更负责任地运营和创新。而CSR实践本身不仅仅改善企业对经济、社会和环境的影响，同时也能给利益相关方以长远的社会价值。本着创造共享价值的理念，企业应当与利益相关方建立长期的合作机制，而不是零散地、随机地组织一些公益活动。

建立在此原则上的一个明确，透明，和可操作的框架， 有助于科学和系统地开展CSR工作。

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【篇四】百年党史的四个阶段

Life is a bitch. Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are.

We are born helpless. We can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t feed ourselves, can’t even do our own damn taxes.

As children, the way we’re wired to learn is by watching and mimicking others. First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society.

The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.

But some adults and community members around us suck.1 They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.2

In a “normal” healthy individual, Stage One will last until late adolescence and early adulthood.3 For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.

This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values.

We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary. We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.

In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.

Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. We experiment with living in new places, hanging out with new people, imbibing new substances, and playing with new people’s orifices.

In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. My brother’s Stage Two was diving headfirst into the political system in Washington DC. Everyone’s Stage Two is slightly different because every one of us is slightly different.

Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.

Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. This doesn’t sit well with many people. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing.

You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. I’m also about as capable of feeding myself as an infant drooling applesauce all over the floor. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better.

So we’re just bad at some things. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.

Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.

There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.

These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.

At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.

But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.

In healthy individuals, Stage Two begins in mid- to late-adolescence and lasts into a person’s mid-20s to mid-30s.4 People who stay in Stage Two beyond that are popularly referred to as those with “Peter Pan Syndrome” — the eternal adolescents, always discovering themselves, but finding nothing.

Once you’ve pushed your own boundaries and either found your limitations (i.e., athletics, the culinary arts) or found the diminishing returns of certain activities (i.e., partying, video games, masturbation) then you are left with what’s both a) actually important to you, and b) what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.

Stage Three is the great consolidation of one’s life. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.

Then you double down on what you’re best at and what is best to you. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. You double down on a single mission in life, whether that’s to work on the world’s energy crisis or to be a bitching digital artist or to become an expert in brains or have a bunch of snotty, drooling children. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done.

Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. It’s all about building your legacy. What will you leave behind when you’re gone? What will people remember you by? Whether that’s a breakthrough study or an amazing new product or an adoring family, Stage Three is about leaving the world a little bit different than the way you found it.

Stage Three ends when a combination of two things happen: 1) you feel as though there’s not much else you are able to accomplish, and 2) you get old and tired and find that you would rather sip martinis and do crossword puzzles all day.

In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.

People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.5

People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have, maybe started a family or a charity or a political or cultural revolution or two, and now they’re done. They’ve reached the age where their energy and circumstances no longer allow them to pursue their purpose any further.

The goal of Stage Four then becomes not to create a legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.

This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their (now grown) children and living vicariously through them. It could mean passing on their projects and work to a protégé or apprentice. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.

Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.

Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being.7

In Stage One, a person is wholly dependent on other people’s actions and approval to be happy. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable.

In Stage Two, one becomes reliant on oneself, but they’re still reliant on external success to be happy — making money, accolades, victory, conquests, etc. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run.

Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two. These are more reliable. And finally, Stage Four requires we only hold on to what we’ve already accomplished as long as possible.

At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world.

Later stages don’t replace previous stages. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval. They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. They just care more about the commitments they’ve made.

Each stage represents a reshuffling of one’s life priorities. It’s for this reason that when one transitions from one stage to another, one will often experience a fallout in one’s friendships and relationships. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.

Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things. People at Stage Three will judge others based on their commitments and what they’re able to achieve. People at Stage Four judge others based on what they stand for and what they’ve chosen to live for.

Self-development is often portrayed as a rosy, flowery progression from dumbass to enlightenment that involves a lot of joy, prancing in fields of daisies, and high-fiving two thousand people at a seminar you paid way too much to be at.

But the truth is that transitions between the life stages are usually triggered by trauma or an extreme negative event in one’s life. A near-death experience. A divorce. A failed friendship or a death of a loved one.

Trauma causes us to step back and re-evaluate our deepest motivations and decisions. It allows us to reflect on whether our strategies to pursue happiness are actually working well or not.

The same thing gets us stuck at every stage: a sense of personal inadequacy.

People get stuck at Stage One because they always feel as though they are somehow flawed and different from others, so they put all of their effort into conforming into what those around them would like to see. No matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.

Stage Two people get stuck because they feel as though they should always be doing more, doing something better, doing something new and exciting, improving at something. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.

Stage Three people get stuck because they feel as though they have not generated enough meaningful influence in the world, that they make a greater impact in the specific areas that they have committed themselves to. But no matter how much they do, they feel as though it is never enough.8

One could even argue that Stage Four people feel stuck because they feel insecure that their legacy will not last or make any significant impact on the future generations. They cling to it and hold onto it and promote it with every last gasping breath. But they never feel as though it is enough.

The solution at each stage is then backwards. To move beyond Stage One, you must accept that you will never be enough for everybody all the time, and therefore you must make decisions for yourself.

To move beyond Stage Two, you must accept that you will never be capable of accomplishing everything you can dream and desire, and therefore you must zero in on what matters most and commit to it.

To move beyond Stage Three, you must realize that time and energy are limited, and therefore you must refocus your attention to helping others take over the meaningful projects you began.

To move beyond Stage Four, you must realize that change is inevitable, and that the influence of one person, no matter how great, no matter how powerful, no matter how meaningful, will eventually dissipate too.

And life will go on.

HOW WELL DO YOU REALLY KNOW YOURSELF?

We all think we know ourselves well, but psychological studies show otherwise. In fact, most of us are somewhat deluded about ourselves. I put together a 22-page ebook explaining how we can come to know ourselves better, just fill out your email in the form. No spam. I promise.

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Footnotes

1.Often this occurs because the adults/community themselves are still stuck in Stage One.↵

2.Some people who get stuck in Stage One get stuck because they come to believe that they will never be able to fit in. These people usually succumb to some form of distraction, depression or addiction.↵

3.I put normal in quotes because, really, what the fuck is normal?↵

4.Stages can overlap to a certain extent. Transitioning between them is never black/white. It happens gradually. And often with some emotional stress and major lifestyle changes.↵

5.This applies to the rare individuals who are talented and capable enough to still remain highly influential and relevant into their 70s and 80s as well. Stage Three doesn’t end until the desire for some peace and quiet outweighs one’s ability to affect change in the world. Some people die without ever leaving Stage Three.↵

6.For more on this, see The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.↵

7.Research shows that generally people become happier and more satisfied as their lives go on.↵

8.One way to think about it is that people who are stuck at Stage Two always feel as though they need more breadth of experience, whereas Stage Three people get stuck because they always feel as though they need more depth.↵

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【篇五】百年党史的四个阶段

恋爱的四个阶段

精选阅读（一）：

感情文章：感情四阶段

有位心理学家曾写道，一个成熟称得上真爱的恋情务必经过四个阶段，那就是：

Codependent→Counterdependent→

Independent→Interdependent

阶段之间转换所需的时刻不必须，因人而易。最忧伤的网名

第一个阶段：共存。

这是热恋时期，情人不论何时何地总期望能腻在一齐。

第二个阶段：反依靠。搞笑网名超拽

等到情感稳定后，至少会有一方想要有多一点自己的时刻作自己想做的事，这时另一方就会感到被冷落。

第三个阶段：独立。

这是第二个阶段的延续，要求更多独立自主的时刻。

第四个阶段：共生。

这时新的相处之道已经成形，你的他（她）已经成为你最亲的人。

你们在一齐相互扶持、一齐开创属于你们自己的人生。你们在一齐不会互相牵绊，而会互相成长。

但是，大部分的人都通但是第二或第三阶段，而选取分手一途，这是十分可惜的。

很多事只要好好沟通都会没事的，不好耍个性，不好想太多要互坚信任，这样第二、三阶段的时刻就会缩短。

和所爱的人相遇相恋是十分不容易的，不好轻言放下。

两人相聚是正因有缘，相知是正因有心，真的得好好珍惜这福份莫说分手不是无由，期望看到上述的四个阶段，真能给大家一些启示与领悟并惜缘。

我们会逐渐变成我们所爱的人。

你和他本来没有相同之处，外表不相像，性格也是南辕北辙，一旦爱上了，年深日久，你会惊讶你的眼睛有点像他的眼睛，他的微笑也有点像你的微笑。

你们走路的步伐也有点相似，说话的语气也愈来愈相像。他的脖子上有一颗痣，一天，你发现自己脖子上也多了一颗痣，原来我们会变成我们所爱的人。

你本来喜爱脚踏实地的人，而他一向比较轻佻，但你们爱上了，他竟会不知不觉变成一个老实人，这个改变，连他自己也不曾察觉。

他本来喜爱活泼的女孩子，却爱上了拘谨的你，这些日子，你竟愈来愈活泼，你差点认不出自己。我们会逐渐变成对方理想中的人，这种改变，绝对不是刻意的。两个人愈爱得长久，气质也愈来愈相近，你以前以为他不是你梦寐以求的那种类型，然而，有一天，你惊讶地发现，他已经变成你喜爱的那种类型，你不必再到处寻觅，他就是你要找的人。

深深爱着一个人的时候，你原来真的会一点一点的失去自己，为什么你还会觉得快乐呢？

大概是正因你在失去的当儿，也是赚了，你把他的气质和他的微笑都赚回来。。。

幸福生活很单纯。。。

因此要很单纯的人才容易获得。。。

精选阅读（二）：

感情的四个阶段

常常看到一些对感情迷惘的文章，不是感觉淡了，就是他（她）不像以前那样热情。。。。其实有些状况不会也不就应让恋情终止。。。，但不幸的事却常常发生，令人婉惜。

记得有位心理学家曾写道，一个成熟称得上真爱的恋情务必经过四个阶段，那就是〞共依（Codependent）、反依靠（Counterdependent）、独立（Independent）、共生（Interdependent）〞。阶段之间转换所需的时刻不必须，因人而异。

第一个阶段：共依存。这是热恋时期，情人不论何时何地总期望能腻在一齐。

第二个阶段：反依靠。等到情感稳定后，至少会有一方想要有多一点自己的时刻作自己想做的事，这时另一方就会感到被冷落。

第三个阶段：独立。这是第二个阶段的延续，要求更多独立自主的时刻。

第四个阶段：共生。这时新的相处之道已经成形，你（你）的她（他）已经成为你（你）最亲的人。你们在一齐互相扶持、一齐开创属于你们自己的人生。你们在一齐不会互相牵绊，而会互相成长。这时的爱才是真爱，永永远远。。。。